You may hate them, you may despise them on a cellular level, but it’s not realistic to think that you will never speak to your soon-to-be ex-spouse, especially if there are kids involved. The best thing you can do, both for your kids (if there are any), as well as for yourself, is either be civil when communicating with your spouse, or just don’t communicate with them at all. You can leave the communication aspect to your attorney and your spouse’s attorney, as they are much more likely to not write something or say something that will sabotage your chances of a favorable divorce agreement.

Since it’s been clarified that you will likely have to communicate with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to some extent, what do you think is worth handing over to your lawyer, and what can just be deleted? One would be if your spouse sends you threatening or harassing messages, that is certainly something you would want to print out and give to your attorney, and you should probably keep a copy for yourself as well. Remember that aforementioned bit about ruining your chances for a favorable outcome in your divorce? Well, that goes both ways; if your spouse writes the wrong thing to you, be it in a drunken stupor or a frenzied moment, you should absolutely forward that to your lawyer (talk about being placed in a bad light).

Another thing that you should keep a record of is anything that may have to do with your spouse’s finances and their job. They may be telling the court that they didn’t get a promotion, or that they were recently laid off; basically, anything that can show that your spouse is not being entirely honest to the court can be a huge gain. Don’t try to instigate these kinds of things however, as you are not the only one who can keep a record of conversations.