Archive for March, 2016

Ways to Help Your Children Get Through Divorce

Thursday, March 24th, 2016

When kids are involved in a divorce, the process becomes more stressful and emotional for everyone. How you handle your divorce can have a tremendous impact on their lives, and any relationship you will have with them in the future. How you and your spouse behave and interact with each other, especially in front of the children, can have severe consequences or benefits. But again, it all depends on how you deal with it.

Here is some advice to help you get through this difficult situation when kids are involved:

Make sure you and your spouse, regardless of how you may feel about each other, need to at least present yourselves as on the same page and a team – a team that is there to support and care for the children and their wellbeing. This has a few benefits, one of which is that it will give them the impression that this divorce may not be the end of the family. Soothing and calming their fears and worries about their parents splitting up is an important step in “surviving” the divorce. If they at least have the impression that despite the divorce their parents still love them and cherish them, and that you are still going to be there for them, they can keep a positive outlook on the situation, which is ideally what you would want. The divorce already hurts everyone enough, it is best to limit the damage as much as possible.

Second, you should expect a lot of questions from your kids, as the idea of only having one parent around will be a bit of a shock to them, considering they’ve never been in that situation before. In reality, a divorce is often very traumatic for younger children, so it is crucial that you stay open (as much as appropriate), patient and calm when discussing the topic. If they don’t understand, which in all likelihood they won’t, don’t get exasperated or upset; just remind them that they are loved and that they still have a mom and a dad.

Children often see themselves as the cause of the divorce. Make sure to let them know that this is most certainly not the case.

Three Ways to Help You Move On With Your Life after Divorce

Monday, March 14th, 2016

Going through a divorce is never easy for anyone involved no matter what the underlying circumstances may have been. There will be lasting, emotional scars during and after, and some people simply cannot cope with the situation. However, moving on from this painful experience is not impossible. You can continue to grow as an individual and move on with your life.

The following are three helpful ways to help you move on with your life after divorce:

1. You may be “single”, but you are certainly not alone. Look around, there are so many people that love you and want to be there for you. You shouldn’t be scared to accept them in your life. Moreover, it doesn’t mean you can’t start seeing a new “someone”, it’s just important though to not instantaneously get coupled up or immediately seek a “replacement”. Surround yourself with those who you care about, and whom you know will always be there for you. Don’t be afraid to make new friends and establish new connections. That’s what life is all about.

2. An important part of moving on from something is learning to let go. The feelings that cling to you after a divorce – bitterness, anger, and betrayal, will only hold you back. They fester in your mind, blinding you from seeing the reality of your situation, and you believe that these feelings are true as they continue to gnaw at you. It’s a vicious cycle, which is why it is important to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Forget the “what if’s” and the like, as they only keep you from changing your outlook on life.

3. Make sure you don’t develop bad habits during your dark hours. Many will turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the extreme pain and emotions they are feeling. Binging and removing yourself from reality is an awful way to cope, and don’t expect to feel better. Focus on your mental and physical health, because a healthy mind and body leads to clearer and better living.

Top 3 Questions to Ask a Prospective Divorce Lawyer

Friday, March 4th, 2016

Here are a few good examples of questions you should think about asking when meeting your potential divorce lawyer:

  1. What is your rule regarding communication via phone calls, emails, texts, etc.? How can I reach you if there is an emergency? By having a clear and direct line of communication with your attorney is important, not only because it will make you feel at ease, but because any event could happen during divorce that could significantly impact the whole separation process. Having an attorney who is always ready and there for you is essential in getting the best possible outcome in your divorce.
  2. What is your strategy for my case? How long will it take to resolve my case? These questions should be asked after 1 or 2 meetings with your lawyer. Your attorney should be able to give you a more solid and bona fide answer to these questions. This will make sure you and your lawyer are on the same page and ensures that your interests are well-represented.
  3. Based on what you know about my case, how would you predict a judge would rule on it? Again, this isn’t a fair question to ask until your lawyer has enough information, from both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Your lawyer has to first gather necessary information to make a reliable and reasonable assumption about the possible outcome of your case. And that is all it is; an assumption. But it is important to ask, to see what your lawyer thinks about your chances, and how your lawyer is representing your case to achieve a favorable outcome.