NEW YORK, NY 10022

Divorce and Family Law30 years of straightforward, expert legal counsel.
Divorce Lawyer NYC - Paul E Rudder, Esq

What Are The Key Ways Children Are Affected During a Divorce?

Divorce affects children directly. They experience a loss of security, feelings of abandonment and low self esteem. In some cases there can be some issues of domestic violence. There is also fear and/or reality of a loss or diminished relationship with one parent and exposure to high conflict between parents.

Children crave a stable and predictable environment, one home with intact parental relationships. When a relationship between parents dissolves, leading to separation and divorce a child's world and sense of security, stability and predictability shatters. Parents' divorce and the child's world dissolves. Perhaps, forever.

Many children blame themselves at least partially, for their parents' break up and divorce and feel at the same time that they were not important enough for the parents to work out their differences and stay together.

A side product of a divorce, especially one that is contentious, is that a child no longer lives with both parents. The child resides with one parent and "visits" with the other. This is major loss for both a child and the parent who moves out. The non-primary parent is seen either in a diminished light of importance and power or is recognized as a friend with whom to spend an afternoon or an evening of fun. In the absence (often for very good reasons) of meaningful shared access time a child's visiting schedule results in the loss of a parent or a marginal relationship which is extremely traumatic, no matter the circumstances.

Finally, very few divorcing or divorced couples are able to contain the expression of hostility towards the other spouse. Hostilities are often expressed in the presence of a child, subtly or outright! In either case, a child is placed in the line of fire and often made to choose sides or be a peace maker. Either position leads to long standing consequences in the emotional and social development of the child.

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Guest and Expert Commentator on Court TV (1990 to 2000)


Initial Consultation - $550


Paul Rudder ESQ was one of the main presen-
ters and a panelist at St John's University Law School all day course titled "THE COURT IS IN SESSION: PSYCHOLOGISTS ON THE STAND - A CASE OF A CHILD CUSTODY EVALUA TION" on September 30 2012.

The program presented the issues and concerns in the stages through time in child custody, general issues related to all aspects of the child custody dispute and adjudication, common errors made by professionals, legal challenges likely to be faced, ethical and licensing issues likely to emerge, etc.

What our customers are saying..


  • "Paul Rudder is amazing person and a great lawyer. He has a heart but also great legal skills. He took me through a brutal experience with very good results. I highly recommend him to anyone who needs a divorce attorney"

    Debra W.

  • "I came to see Mr. Rudder at the suggestion of my accountant. I got served with divorce papers and did not know who to turn to. From the moment I stepped into his office, I felt like someone had my back and I was going to be OK. He is not just a lawyer, he is a counselor at law which what a divorce lawyer should be, this is a very personal, emotional experience."

    Anita M

  • "I needed a divorce and there was a lot at stake, significant assets and 2 kids. The divorce was not going to be friendly. There was a lot of hostility between and my now ex-wife. Paul Rudder did everything to avoid heavy litigation, tried to settle and negotiate as much as he could. Eventually we did go to court and this man knows how to try a case. I was very satisfied with the outcome."

    Bill A.

  • "I was about to get married and needed a pre-nuptial agreement. I was recommended Paul Rudder by a friend who used him for his. This is a very difficult and sensitive matter and he really helped me understand and identify my rights, goals as well a fairness to my soon to be wife."

    Alex F.


Contact Paul Eric Rudder


Paul E. Rudder, ESQ - Divorce Lawyer NYC
950 Third Avenue, 11th Floor
New York, NY 10022

T: 212 826-9900
E: paul@paulrudderlaw.com

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Mr. Rudder represents clients in NYC & throughout the Greater Metropolitan area.

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Awards and Distinctions

"Top Lawyer" in Family and Divorce Law in New York Times Super Lawyers Section for (2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012)

"Awarded an AV rating (it's highest) by the prestigious Martindale-Hubbell Peer Review Ratings Service Law directory